Adventures In House Hunting

So me and my brother are looking to by a house... Now we aren't ballin' on tycoon status, so we only have $170,000 to spend... but my god this is such a process. We go to look at all these houses and it's just crazy to me how people present these houses... Now i ain't (notice the proper use of the word ain't as a contraction from am not) expecting these people showing to show their houses like MTV cribs, but some of these houses are ridiculous. I walked in the living room of this spot and one WHOLE wall in the living room had a gigantic jungle mural painted on it... I don't know how y'all feel, but I don't want Mufasa and Simba looking at me while I'm playin' madden. not cool... lions, zebras and wilderbeasts in a Serengeti back drop... This is Colorado not Africa... Er'time you walk in that house you're almost obligated to sing the circle of life... I shoulda took a picture... and I know you're thinking "couldn't you just repaint that wall?" Of course but then you go down stairs and walk into a time capsule... I'm talkin' wood paneling and shag carpet ev-er-ywhere, "ev-er-ywhere?" "yes ev-er-ywher!" I almost expected a disco ball to drop out of the ceiling or Henry Winkler to show up and give me the thumbs up... That was just a sample of the craziness i saw at peoples homes, and yes there were other things that simple paint and recarpeting could fix... like houses with uneven floors, there was a house with the the washer and dryer in the main bathroom... a basement that you couldn't get into because the flight of stairs was broken (Just ponder how that works). It was just crazy, not to mention all the places with lil' ass ceilings... My brother and I aren't the twin towers or anything, so why does it seem like at all these houses we looked at we have to duck to go into the door, or up and down the stairs in these places and if you are going to have a low ceiling, please don't be stupid enough to put a fuckin ceiling fan in... I thought i was gonna get knocked out if not decapitated... if you have low ceilings, too bad! I'm sorry you're just gonna have to miss out on the luxury of a ceiling fan - LIVE WITH IT... Then you got these people who are like "take your shoes off, to see the place" I'm thinking they musta got new carpet or something, right? Wrong!! got mangy mismatching carpet with misc stains... and I'm standing there all puzzled... like at least have the lil' plastic booties so i don't mess up my socks on this grungy as floor or something. I mean it was crazy... I'll definately have to keep y'all posted as the search continues later this week