So last night me and Travis are cruisin' around looking for something to eat. Now there aren't a whole lot of quick food options in summit county and even less so at the Penny, so we are really strugglin' when Travis suggests KFC. In true stereotypical fashion, I says "I fucks with some chicken." The thing is I've never really fucked with KFC, I'm more of a Popeyes man myself. Travis assures me that the KFC back in Nebraska was his joint. So I'm thinking fine I'm hungry so lets go check it out... Mistake!!! that shit is the McDonalds of chicken. I was shocked and amazed that they can call that place a chicken join. Where do I begin? Lets start with this half assed mac and cheese. I don't think I've ever seen such a pathetic attempt in my life, I mean how do you fuck up Mac and Cheese? By definition you take some Macaroni and mix it with some cheese, doesn't sound too difficult to master, but what they put in that bowl certainly wasn't cheesy and even if it was I don't think those water logged lumps of whatever that was, would classify as noodles. Needless to say after taking one look into that bowl I was already skeptical as to what the rest of my meal was gonna be like. On to the barbecue beef sandwich thingy... Now I know you're thinking "Ian what the hell are you doing ordering barbecue beef anything from a chick joint?" to that I say good point, but the lady taking our order said it was delicious, plus it was only a dollar so I said why not? Yet another terrible decision... It was a glorified quesadilla, which raises the question why do they serve anything that resembles a quesadilla at KFC especially a quesadilla that doesn't have chicken? Travis seeing my discontent with this experience says "Dude you gotta try the potatoes, they will change your mind" Surprisingly no complaints about the mashed potatoes, they're weren't spectacular, but they weren't bad and the gravy is actually pretty good, but on to the main thing that KFC claims to do right... The chicken. I got the barbecue wing meal and all I gotta say is that I want my money back... The barbecue sauce was lumpy... have you ever had lumpy barbecue sauce? How does that even work? Barbecue sauce is supposed to be smmoooooth. Plus those wings might as well have come from a rat, cause I can't with a good conscious call that chicken, and to top it all off my chicken didn't even come with a biscuit. What kinda shit is that? No biscuit? Isn't that part of the chicken experience, in fact I didn't know it was possible to get chicken without a biscuit... That shit is criminal. Don't even get me started on the fact you can get a bowl with mashed potatoes covered in corn, with popcorn chicken, and shredded Mexican cheese on top... How did I not know this place was so triple U? I felt like I was being punked and that Travis was gonna tell me that he was in cahoots with A. Koutcher. Life certainly does not taste better with KFC!
